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Born on a chaotic flight, this story tamed my kicker Katie and a carload of restless souls.
Its the dullest, most repetitive tale - no plot, no pictures, no excitement - just a sleepy orchard vibe to bond over.
Follow my [stage directions] and make it a family lullaby!
Launched: 28 June 2025
"Love this approach to storytelling. The pacing, pauses, etc. are a great way to calm oneself and if not actually fall asleep, be ready to sleep. Are you familiar with Relax Kids by Marneta Viegas? Your book reminded my son of those relaxation stories."
— Mother of 3 & 10 y.o., Europe
"Beautiful and clear voice. Perfect pacing. The 3-year-old fell asleep listening to the audio version. An extra chapter for those who didn't fall asleep would be great."
— Daniela, International Parent
"She fell asleep but she was extremely tired. I'm pretty sure it works. The tone of voice and sentence structures helped a lot to make her sleepy. Well done!"
— Michael, Father in Europe
"Read to 9 year old and liked it, sleep came along soon. Well narrated, pauses were effective. Good job, good luck with it."
— Hugh, Father of 9 y.o., Russia
Listen to a 4-minute free sample here for free no sleeping pills required.
Here's your chance to test-drive The Old Wooden House audiobook - a 4-minute excerpt recorded by yours truly (yes, I'm a trained voice actor, and yes, I did this in my home studio between diaper changes).
How to prepare:
Get cozy (sofa/blanket/rocking chair strongly advised)
Click the link above.
See if you make it to the end before your first yawn
Perfect for:
Parents whove read aloud everything except the vacuum manual
Kids who think 'sleep is boring'
P.S. If you doze off - that's not a bug, it's a feature.
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