The Story Store
The Old Wooden House: A Delightfully Dull Bedtime Tale to Unite Parents and Kids
Born on a chaotic flight, this story tamed my kicker Katie and a carload of restless souls.
Its the dullest, most repetitive tale - no plot, no pictures, no excitement - just a sleepy orchard vibe to bond over.
Follow my [stage directions] and make it a family lullaby!
Launched: 28 June 2025
Testimonials
"Love this approach to storytelling. The pacing, pauses, etc. are a great way to calm oneself and if not actually fall asleep, be ready to sleep. Are you familiar with Relax Kids by Marneta Viegas? Your book reminded my son of those relaxation stories."
— Mother of 3 & 10 y.o., Europe
"Beautiful and clear voice. Perfect pacing. The 3-year-old fell asleep listening to the audio version. An extra chapter for those who didn't fall asleep would be great."
— Daniela, International Parent
"She fell asleep but she was extremely tired. I'm pretty sure it works. The tone of voice and sentence structures helped a lot to make her sleepy. Well done!"
— Michael, Father in Europe
"Read to 9 year old and liked it, sleep came along soon. Well narrated, pauses were effective. Good job, good luck with it."
— Hugh, Father of 9 y.o., Russia
Get the eBook here:
Save your vocals, get the audiobook
Listen to a 4-minute sample here for free - no sleeping pills required.
Here's your chance to test-drive The Old Wooden House audiobook - a 4-minute excerpt recorded by yours truly (yes, I'm a trained voice actor, and yes, I did this in my home studio between diaper changes).
How to prepare:
Get cozy (sofa/blanket/rocking chair strongly advised).
Click the link above.
See if you make it to the end before your first yawn.
Perfect for:
Parents who've read aloud everything except the vacuum manual.
Kids who think 'sleep is boring'.
P.S. If you doze off - that's not a bug, it's a feature.
Save money & time, get the Knockout Bundle
**📦 The "Bedtime Freedom" Bundle: eBook + Audiobook** *Save 20% while saving 90 nightly minutes*
**🚀 How It Works:** 1. **Audiobook**: My voice handles 80% of bedtimes
2. **eBook**: You take over when well-rested
3. **Win**: Reclaim 45 hours/year (yes, we calculated!)
**Value Breakdown:** Save 20% **
**Parent Review:** "We rotate them - audiobook on weekdays, eBook weekends. Bedtime wars OVER." - Hugo, Swansea
